Welllllcommmeee all to the final conclusion of this year's series.
While many went to bed with dreams of heavy barbells and 1RMs dancing in their heads, we woke up to a fun chipper style workout. Unfortunately, the barbell fiends didn't get their wish, but this looked like a lot of fun and had something in it for almost everyone (unless you don't like wall walks, or rowing, or deadlifts, snatches, powercleans and/or if you wanted something heavy...)
We sadly begin this week on a serious note, and are obligated to report that a current investigation into "draft tampering" is underway. It's no secret that the resources sector and insider trading go together like cheese and biscuits. "Let the coaches know that I'll be out of action and unable to do week 3. I'll be in the middle of nowhere, trying pillage the earth of desirable minerals which I intend to sell in exchange for currency" - direct quote from Fergus.
Fast forward to week 3 and we're awoken to an instagram video of Fergus, who not only had time to complete 25.3, but had time to spare to get some pottery in. (Don't tell his partner Emily he had done their special activity alone).
By the numbers: 0 - number of women Jason had sex with with with green hair.
1 - We had the most Open signups in WA!
2 - Number of people 1 rep from finishing (Emma and Laura T just 3 seconds faster anywhere in the workout would have done it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
2 - The Green team's zeros this week.
19 - CrossFit Claremont's Affiliate Team ranking the Oceanic region. A huge effort to Fraser (x3), Nate (x2), Georgia (x2), Kat (2), Nikki (x1), Angus (x1), Lauren (x1) with their contributing scores.
29 - people who managed to finish 25.3
63 - Fraser's place in Australia, an insane effort from a guy who was away for a lot of last year.
92 - Brett's worldwide placing in his age group! 150+ - With over 150 coming through our 3 Friday Night Lights, this was the busiest FNL we have ever had. Thanks so much to everyone who came along and made it so much fun. Everyone judged, got there on time and in general it had such great energy.
173 - Jess Hayes place in Oceania! This however is a different Jess than the one who comes to our gym. Things Gary heard:
"God, it's so much easier to no rep guys, I just feel so bad when it's one of the girls". - Claire Davis continues the generational oppression of men. We are not asking for special allowances, just equality.
The sad and frustrating thing about Claire's sexist judging practices is that the noble and chivalrous men of CFC had already made many sacrifices for women that day. While there are simply too many to list, one notable sacrifice they made was the decision to have an unevenly weighted bar for the Power Cleans, so that females could have perfect loads through the whole workout.
"#f*ckblue". Friendships were cast aside as Angus operated from over east, going in blind against his rival, housemate and Visayan ceremony brother Fraser. While it's unclear if Purple managed to secure the intel, Angus pumped out a great time. It's unknown how or why Blue was caught in the crosshairs as Fraser is a proud member of Green. In another desperate attempt at sabotage, Angus also "accidentally" took Jason's grips for 25.2 and took them with him over east. An easy mistake to make, when they are clearly marked JASON on both.
"You've got the prettiest Snatch in the gym" - Josh to Emma.
"F*ck off" - Jess Hayes to Nate (and others) as they cheered her on during the row.
"I've been researching strategies on how to nail this workout all weekend, I'll smash this redo" - Kyle B spitting facts.
"This belt has won multilpe national titles, wear it proudly". - Kat lending out her weightlifting belt.
"I'm over it, I'm done" - Lauren quit and walked off no less than 3 times midworkout on her redo. Managed to go from 20 cal to finishing in 19.33. The workout was far from pretty. Form with a little to be desired, along with a strange strategy. Singles, then 5s, then 2s, then singles, then 5s. The most disjointed workout I've ever witnessed.
"Give it all you've got!" Brett to Lauren in the last 60 seconds of her row in her redo.
"I calculated that I was going to finish just in just under 20 minutes, so I gave exactly what was required and not 1% more". Good to see where our children get their competitive spirit from.
"Cooper you're breaking my heart" - Chris after being informed that due to some bathhouse allegations, he was currently being detained in a Japanese airport. Cooper was Chris' #1 draft pick and unfortunately completed only 1/3 of the workouts. Past decisions continue to haunt Chris' Opens campaign.
"COME OONNNN" - Cam's consistent and attentive encouragement, was a feature throughout The Opens. Cam was like a cross between an auctioneer and a snake charmer, with Pete being the cobra / unsuspecting first home buyer. As a close observer, it really felt Cam was somehow hypnotising him into the workout and they struck up a consistent rhythm to get the workout finished. With one under the hammer, Cam turned his attention to Fraser. The proof is in the pudding, and there are whispers Cam will be hiring his services out next year. (But they won't be whispered, they'll be shouted repeatedly over and over again).
"I feel like there's some gender discrimination, shouldn't there be some half naked photos of you in the mens toilets?" - Dave to Lauren on Friday as she put up photos of Jason around the gym.
"Will Pete be at Friday Night Lights?" Lawson on Wednesday morning before teeing up a judge to get the workout done Friday morning. Coincidence perhaps.
Notable Performances:
Wacey finally decided to show his face at FNL.
Juli deciding she had done enough and hopped off the Rower with 30 seconds remaining (and she wasn't finished)
Jess Hayes for the same score as her first time on the redo (maybe shout at people less and row more? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).
With two clocks set for the Monday 9.15am class, most people looked at the fitness track clock (which was a minute ahead) and panicked. Nice pace setter though!
Juli on her repeat devised a foolproof plan to finish, however she hurt her hip midway through. But the plan helped Rach finish so job done!
Rach going from 25 Cal to 19.55 was a great performance.
Bella Teakle getting her first Muscle Up after last week's WOD!
Finn Wiliams, signed up to the Open the same day he did his first session at the Gym and crushed it. A seriously impressive effort for someone just getting started. It will be exciting to see him in a year's time!
Kate and Caian for completing their first Open as a mother/son duo. One of the rare relationships where I didn't see the child berating their parent at some stage which is to be commended.
Ryan D for coming in Friday morning to do some skill work, figuring out wall walks and then crushed the workout!
Dillon for somehow not getting dobbed in for any scandalous activity over the 3 weeks. From memory, he was hungover 2/3 Mondays so that potentially helped.
A big thanks to Liz and Nikki who sacrificed Friday evenings to run the clock, and everyone who came in to help set up before workouts - remember and appreciate you!
Thank you to Lauren who does some minor editing on the Open Close write ups!
Week 3 results and standings:
You're going to have to stay tuned, and you might be surprised!!
Results will be released next Saturday, and we will have a little windup to celebrate the massive efforts and achievements of everyone these past few weeks! All are welcome, whether you participated or participated in this year's open or not!
We will announce the places for the factions along with two awards: Spirit of the Open: You will get 3 votes for people you think made the Open a better event be it through their demeanour or helping others.
Performer of the Open: The people you think performed the best of the Open, the metric you use is up to you.
We will also use it as a going away party for Ching! She's heading to Canada to live with a nomadic colony for a year. Hunter-gatherers who live off the land and travel around with the seasons. Sounds exciting!
Date: 6pm Saturday 29th of March
Where: The Cottesloe Beach Hotel
Please submit your votes here: https://forms.gle/7kPbp38FiE94obVV7
Hopefully, we see you there!
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